Reading other peoples blogs has become a very time consuming hobby. Tara, I blame you! What an amazing way to spend a day with a friend who lives far away, or someone you've never met, but call a friend anyway. :) The nosy part of me loves the glimpse into a completely different life. This side of me triumphs in the fact that I am not the only mother losing her mind because her toddler will not stop spitting mouthfuls of milk out onto her shirt or wants to change her name to anything but "Mama" just for five minutes.
Sometimes I feel guilty, wishing for silence, even for a fleeting moment, because I know some people have infinite silence and wish for squeals and laughter, not matter how loud. I know this is a phase and when she is older I will miss how attached and dependent she is on me, but some days just seem so long. If I leave the room, oh my, the world is ending. She is developing quite the attitude and instead of whining has now started screaming "NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Mostly when I pick her up and she doesn't want to be distracted from what she is doing.
But then there's times like the grocery store today. She must have said "Hi!" to every single person we passed in the store, some people got a greeting in every isle as we passed them on the same path. When I stopped in the ice cream section she spotted an ice cream with Dora on it, the new obsession, and said "Mama! It Dora!" (which she pronounces Dowa) And then here's the rest of the conversation in the ice cream isle...
A stranger walks by...
" Hi! It Dora! Bye bye!"
The crabby stranger does not even say hi back.
"Mama, it it it it Dora!" (She gets stuck sometimes and when she gets excited she says "it" over and over again)
"Yes Kaitlyn, I see that it's Dora."
"It it it it it it Boots!"
"I see him baby, say bye bye to Dora and Boots"
"Bye bye Dora!"
We walk past the popsicles that also have a box with Dora.
"It it it it it it Dora!"
We turn the corner
And she continues to shout out every single item she recognizes in the store until we leave. It was too cute. It just cracks me up because she has to shout them with excitement, like she's never seen a bottle of water before, everything is fresh, new and exciting. What a wonderful, pure, innocent view she has of the world. I wish it were tangible so I could put it away and keep it safe forever. And how heart wrenching it is to know that no matter what I do, I can't protect her forever. She is going to be hurt, taken advantage of, lied to and yet don't we all? We survived it, our parents survived it, I know she will be fine no matter what comes, but I still ache thinking about it. Yet, there is so much joy knowing the foundation we're setting for her. One that shows no matter what comes, you are never alone and nothing is impossible. The Lord is amazing and wonderful and faithful and forgiving and no matter what we do, we have a safe place in him. That there is something beyond this life, so filled with meaningless possessions and hatred, that will be more wonderful than our imaginations could ever comprehend. I just pray, beyond all prayers, that she chooses to allow the Lord to guide her life and sets her eyes on eternity.