Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I am officially obsessed

Oh the obsession of TTC. (Trying to conceive) I was trying to be cool about it, just hang around on the "Just Let it Happen" board and seriously just let it happen. Oh no, we're past that now. I was on the fence on this one but one of the girls on K's birth board just recently announced that she was pregnant and can you believe it, I was jealous. :)

I think Ben's obsessed too but in a different way. He is obsessed with having a boy. Now, I need to say that he would be thrilled to have another girl, but he really wants a boy eventually and he would like it to be the next one, probably because he'll be ready t be done after that. :) So we're doing what we can now to up our chances on having a boy, who knows if any of it really works, but it will make him feel better to try right?

So I am ready to start this amazing journey all over again, here we go! The only thing that makes me reluctant, besides remembering the recovery a few weeks after giving birth, is knowing this could be my last time doing all this. :( That just breaks my heart. I know I can't just keep having babies, I wouldn't want to, but I'm only on my first and somehow thinking about my last. How does it all happen so fast? Sometimes looking at her just hurts. Knowing I won't always be the center of her universe, and that in fact, one day she may not even like me. Today it was her hair, her hair that is just as unruly as she is and flies every which way, that made me realize how big she is getting. Something so simple, but proof that time is passing when I wish it wouldn't, or that I could at least slow it down a little. I so enjoy having a cute little girl that people ooh and ahh over everywhere we go. And whatever the next baby is, and whenever it arrives, I know we'll be ready for even the most painful moments, because it's those moments that remind us how truly blessed we are.


Tara said...

You already know that I understand and then some so I'll just offer some hugs. :) A cheat sheet detailing the "right" moment would be nice sometimes, huh?

Lisa said...

Best of luck, hopefully it happens quickly for you!