A Glimpse Into the Future...

This week Kaitlyn has been starting every sentence with "When I'm big and I'm a mommy..." She has also informed me that when she's a mommy she is going to have four babies and everyone will see her driving around in her van with her four babies. She recently stuck a balloon under her dress and exclaimed "Look Mom, I'm preganant!" So much of how she views her world comes through in her desire to be big. She is constantly saying "I wish I could do that when I'm big."

I wish I could explain to her to that these are the most wonderful, carefree days of her life. That childhood is fleeting and one day much too soon the innocence of childhood will have long since faded and the reality of adulthood will truly be upon her. I wish I could protect her from it. Yet each new skill of independence marks a milestone, a sigh of relief that we are preparing her well for the life that is ahead of her. I just wish I could look ahead, to know how better to prepare her, how to protect her from injury, and disappointment, and heartache. To know what her specific trials will be and help her before she even reaches them.

When I thought about being a mother I never imagined worrying as much as I do. Once when Kaitlyn was a newborn I remember starting to cry one day. Ben asked what was wrong and I started to blubber something about "what if she meets the wrong boy when she's a teenager and makes the wrong choices and there's nothing we can do..." I think Ben's response was something like "Honey, she's 13 days old, let's worry about day 14 and then we can worry later about when she's 13 years old."

True, I was probably a tad bit emotional and postpartum, but the point is, I think as mothers it's inherent to worry. I have perfected that skill. The skill that still needs work is trust. Trusting the Lord to know the path for my children's lives and trust He will guide me in preparing them for those paths. He knows every second of what will happen in my children's lives and I need to trust in that. Not only because I am commanded to, but also as an example to my children in where my faith lies. I think a part of me will always be a worry wart about my children but I know I need to practice less worry and more trust.

So today, despite my worry about who her future husband will be, if she'll stay close to home so I can see her often, if I will be here to see her through each trial she will face until then; I will trust in what I know. Today, she is four. She loves wearing dresses and pumping herself on the swing. Her favorite food is Macaroni and Cheese and her biggest challenge in life is living with her brother. For all the rest, I will trust in what Jeremiah 29:11 says. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I know my children have awesome, amazing futures planned for their lives. But a part of me still holds on to my mommy worry. Especially when my four year old starts pretending to be pregnant and talking about how many children she'll be loading up in the minivan.

What a Difference a Year Makes!

Kaitlyn had her last day of preschool yesterday and it occurred to me to take a picture to compare to the one we took on her first day. It is amazing how quickly the school year went by and how much she has changed. She is becoming such a beautiful, sweet spirited little girl. I am so proud of her. She constantly amazes me with the things she says and does. How is it so wonderful and so heart wrenching at the same time to watch your kids grow right in front of your eyes?


Sept 2009


June 2010

Catching Up 2010

Since I went so long without posting there are a ton of pictures for me to share and I thought I would make it easy and just do a slide show. Here's a quick glimpse of what's been happening around the Nelson house lately!

I Have a Secret

Being pregnant is like having this amazing secret all to yourself. (Except for the whole expanding belly for the world to see thing) I can feel when the baby is awake and moving, I know when it has the hiccups, there are so many moments that are shared by only the baby and myself. Every movement is like a tiny greeting from this little person inside me.



I love being pregnant. And even though I am at peace with this little addition being the last to our family, I know a part of me will always have that maternal ache to have "just one more." Knowing this is the last time I will do this makes me cherish it that much more. Part of me can't believe we are doing this all over again, and part of me aches knowing it is the last time I will experience this awesome, miraculous experience of growing a person and bringing it into the world. The births of my children have been the most exciting and amazing times of my life. And sharing those moments with my husband has been indescribable.

Sometimes when the baby kicks I tell someone and let them feel it kick, but there are many times when I am content to smile to myself and say a silent hello to who ever this is growing inside me. And when this pregnancy is over I know I will be ready to be done and see who this is, but today, I am holding on to my body, my shape, everything just the way it is, aches and pains included, and just enjoying this miracle for what it is.

Kaitlyn's 4th Birthday!

This post is so overdue but Kaitlyn turned four in February and had her first "big girl" party with lots of friends. It was a swim party (yes in February) at Kaitlyn's request at an indoor pool that she has been taking lessons at. We should have taken many more pictures but everyone was so busy swimming that pictures were low on the priority scale. :) I still can't believe she is four years old. Her personality and spirit shine through more and more each day and the little person she has become just makes me marvel at how quickly they go from helpless and tiny to so big and independent. Her favorite things to do are draw, paint, (basically anything to do with art) swing, go on walks to the park and play with her brother. I cannot wait to see what the next year brings.

















We always take a picture of the kids the day before their birthdays. Here is Kaitlyn's last day being three!

I Love...

My husband. The father of my children. Pictures like this put everything into perspective.


This girl. She amazes me each and every day and I still wonder how she's only been around for (almost) 4 years and I feel like I have loved her all my life.


This little pile of mischief. He faithfully helps me learn and practice patience every minute of the day and smiles while doing so. He has what we refer to as the "evil smile." It has been plastered on his face all day today since he learned that child locks now no longer deter him.

Have you heard that the definition of a boy is a noise with dirt on it? Enough said.


My mom. She is here spending time with my children (allowing me to rest) as often as time allows and she is always doing dishes, laundry, or some other household task that always seems to evade me.


My dad and step mom. They have been married for 20 years and are the ultimate example of being in a loving, committed marriage no matter what! They raised four children, which in itself amazes me, and are now empty nesters who enjoy having their grandchildren come spice up their lives. A usual night as their house includes them cooking, cleaning and playing with my children, and me catching up on my People magazine. :)


My mother in law and father in law. They raised the man I married and have been a huge source of encouragement through the trials we have faced. Having them with me when Ben was hurt was a huge blessing. I will never forget the experience of spending almost every waking moment for 2 weeks straight with them. Plus they raised three children, I will soon sympathize with that :)

Here are some of my other loves...

milk

freshly laundered sheets

my brothers

home made lemonade

being barefoot

sleeping

the smell of coffee (but not really coffee itself)

baking

tea in a teacup with matching saucer

The Beatles

sushi

late nights around the campfire

Italian Parsley

freshly vacuumed carpet

my high school memories

my grandmother

cheeseburgers

poolside cabanas in Vegas

MOPS

quiet

listening to the waves of the ocean

Kelly Clarkson

using the silverware of a grandmother I never met

cake

Faith

the sound of my children laughing together

my childhood memories

At the Drawing Board

Kaitlyn loves art. Anything to do with it. Drawing, painting, writing, play dough you name it. She is so creative and, if I may say so myself as only a slightly biased person, an amazing illustrator for her age. She comes up with the most random and wonderful drawings.