Always an Adventure

Welcome to Recipe Monday!

2011-01-17T17:42:00.000-08:00

So my friend Carly decided to do recipe Mondays and asked if anyone wanted to join her. I emphatically said "me!" but then realized I have a hard time keeping up with my meal planning and preparation, let alone blogging about meals! I had grand plans of which recipe I would do first but alas this is what I came up with. Anyway, to kick things off here for my first Recipe Monday I have decided I have a confession to make...

My name is Emily, and I like to buy in bulk. Then I like to forget about all the things I have bought, or the meals I have purposed them for, letting them go to waste therefore defeating the purpose of buying in bulk to save money...and then I like to cry about it.

So part of recipe Mondays will incorporate my goal to cook as little as possible and get as many meals out of one session of cooking/shopping as possible. With that said one of the things I always buy in large quantities is potatoes, especially in the winter. My last trip to the store I bought a huge bag of potatoes, carrots, and celery. Then I went to town on hearty winter meals. The first was ham and white bean soup. I used a ham bone my mother in law had given me and then the carrots and celery. The next night was roast chicken with vegetables and rice. The next night was chicken pot pie with home made gravy (an Ina Garten recipe that changed my life, more on that later) using the leftover meat and some of the veggies from the night before. The night after that was pot roast, again using the carrots, celery and potatoes. Yes, a lot of these meals have the same components but they are all so different that no one my family family seemed to notice. (Well besides Kaitlyn who informed me each night that she does NOT like carrots, but she will try one if she has to) By now the only thing I have left is potatoes and I am quite proud of myself for actually using what I bought...what a concept!

But tonight I had no leftovers and no meal planned out. It is times like these when it is so tempting to order in or head to McDonalds, especially on the nights Ben is at work. In the freezer I had chorizo, in the cupboard, potatoes of course :) I fried up the potatoes (cutting them in smallish matchsticks) cooked some chorizo, scrambled some eggs and we had breakfast burritos for dinner! A nice change from the usual breakfast for dinner routine and super quick! Add a fruit smoothie and we called it good. So the point of this recipe Monday is that sometimes you have no plan (okay a LOT of times) and flying by the seat of your pants can be economical and yummy too! :) I promise better meals, and pictures in the future! Happy Monday!

What a Joyful Day

2010-12-28T20:31:00.000-08:00

Today while driving to a play date Kaitlyn was talking my ear off, as usual, and mentioned that Jesus always protects us. I said "yes, he does" and then she said something I will never forget. She said, with a rather worried tone of voice, "well I know He loves me but I just don't KNOW that he's really in my heart." This is not the first time this subject has come up, the previous time was also in the car and I felt ill equipped to handle something with such gravity. I wanted Ben with me to witness the moment and help us pray. But this time I knew I couldn't put it off again. My girl was aching at the core of her being to know with all certainty that what she was wishing so desperately could be true. I told her that in order for Him to live there that she has to invite Him in, and promise to follow Him forever. It was the best I could do in the moment and I was trying not to overwhelm my eager four year old with ramblings of adult theology. She simply wanted to know He was there, for sure. I told her I would pray a prayer of salvation with her and that Jesus would be in her heart if we prayed it together.

After a short lecture about how I should not close my eyes and pray while I drive because I "might bonk something with the car" and after I assured her I would keep my eyes open, we prayed. I said the words, and she repeated them carefully, word for word, head bowed, eyes closed. When we finished I assured her that Jesus had heard her prayer and that he now lived in her heart, forever. When I looked back the smile on her face was indescribable, so peaceful and joyful at the same time. Let me tell you, the rain had nothing to do with the blurred vision I was experiencing in that moment.

Then the day went on as usual. She played, laughed, sang songs and cried about losing a hand of Old Maid to her mom. But I couldn't help but wonder...does she really get it? Which immediately I answer myself in my head "do ANY of us REALLY get it?" My fear for her is that being so young she won't remember that moment, that somehow things will become stagnant, common and boring when it comes to her faith. What a huge weight it is to feel responsible for helping to guide her on this path and help keep her excited in it. Mostly today I feel grateful that God saw fit to come to earth, save me, and continue His legacy in my child. Her future was written before she was born, but today I got a small glimpse of what it could hold, and the possibilities truly are endless.

So this is her, as she is today, four years old and teaching me so much already. Part of me can't help but sigh in relief knowing that compared to her eternal fate, everything else is "easy" from here. :)

Family Photos

2010-12-20T17:11:00.000-08:00

We recently had family photos done to capture our completed family. Knowing the completed dynamics of our family is so exciting to me, I love these pictures because they are the beginning of many to come. :)

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Am I a Girly Girl?

2010-11-30T11:19:00.000-08:00

I don't think I ever put a hair bow or headband on Kaitlyn once. But now, knowing that Ava is my last little girl I have decided to take full advantage of girlishness and the cute hair bows that are everywhere right now. This is one of my favorite boutiques and they are having a sale right now just in time for Christmas! :)

http://bannerboutique.blogspot.com/2010/11/its-begining-to-look-lot-like.html

Still in That Newborn Fog

2010-11-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

We recently had pictures taken of Ava and I love them! I love that they capture her in our home, in her own environment. I love that they capture what I will most likely remember through a fog of sleep deprivation and the crazy task of being a mother of three with no manual. :) And I love that even though I am afraid to blink and wake to find my children grown and gone, looking at these photos is so exciting to me. It shows where my kids are and makes me think to the future about where our family is going.

It seems Kaitlyn and Lance can do anything to Ava and she just smiles and coos...except when they simultaneously accidentally knock her in the head with their knees, then she cries (as shown below) but most of the time she is enamored with her siblings. Although having a newborn is challenging, these moments are precious and fleeting. I hope I never forget what is was like to hold my tiny children in my arms and smell that intoxicating smell only babies have. Here are some of the many photos...

Ava is One Month Old!

2010-10-08T17:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Ava Lynne,
You are one month old today. It feels so bittersweet watching you grow, knowing I will never again hold my own newborn baby in my arms. I still remember what it's like to be pregnant, to have a precious life growing in my womb one moment, and be given the amazing, life-changing title of mother (once again) another. But soon even those memories will fade and our family will be moving into the next stage of our lives. You seem to be growing and changing infinitely faster than the other two did, and I am grappling to hold on to each moment as it slips away. Your tiny newborn cry is such a joy to me and even the long nights seem blissful in the face of certain reality that you are the final addition to our family.

And although I insisted you were a girl my entire pregnancy, it's only been in the last few weeks that I allowed myself to realize how much I WANTED another girl. Sweet girl you are such a miraculous answer to prayer, one I never even whispered. And as much as I dread this rapid growth process, I so look forward to your first smile, tiny giggles and watching you interact with your sister and brother. It's the "lasts" that scare me. If I had known the last day I was pregnant was the last day I would have held on tighter, rubbed my belly more often and had someone take a million pictures. I would have read bedtime stories to my older children knowing things would never be the same and squeezed them a little tighter when I kissed them goodnight. I would have told them, as I tell myself now. That there are such wonderful things to come, not to be frightened about the future or heartbroken about what's behind us. But all those things seem easier said than done these days. The realization that so many things I dreamed about my whole life have been fulfilled and are behind me and the uncertainty that comes with this next phase of my life. The necessity of new hopes and dreams for myself (and mostly for my children) and the I always knew I wanted to get pregnant and HAVE children.

I am not sure I thought about actually raising those children. Getting pregnant, growing a life, piece of cake! I think most people would agree, this is the hard part. I think I gasp and have my heart hurl into my chest about 27 times a day watching Lance attempt to climb the latter at the park. And my heart hurts for Kaitlyn when she gets her feelings hurt and soars with joy when I see what a sweet heart she has for her siblings. The reality that I have been given this awesome responsibility is so overwhelming sometimes. I am responsible for three tiny lives...for helping to shape, encourage and love them. And, eventually, let them go as adults, praying I did enough things right for them to flourish in so many ways. It's days like today when I repeat Matthew 6:34 over and over to myself... "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own."

So on this very emotional milestone day I can only promise to try and love you everyday the way I do today, and promise to try and remember this post when you are 2...and 12... and 15...and 22. :)

Love,
Mommy

Welcoming Ava Lynne!!!

2010-09-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Ava Lynne,
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, I knew you were a girl. I waited nine months to see your beautiful face and even though your daddy and I hadn't settled on a name, the moment you were born I knew you were an Ava. You were born on a Friday morning at 10:12am...ten days early.

About the time I was ready to go to bed on Thursday night I started feeling uncomfortable. I went to bed sometime after 11pm and woke up at 2am because I couldn't sleep through the contractions. I got up and began timing my contractions and took a shower. About an hour later I knew I needed to call Daddy and tell him to come home from work. He got home and we began getting ready to go to the hospital. After about an hour we called Nono and Papa and asked if someone could come be with Kaitlyn and Lance while they slept. Papa came over and we left the house around 5:15am. I was supposed to have my first Mops meeting that morning and had prepared things for my first meeting as a table leader the night before. So on the way to the hospital we stopped by the church and dropped some things by the door. By this time my contractions were completely sporadic and I was beginning to feel nervous about if this was really it. I asked your daddy to stop at Starbucks, he had been at work all night and I knew he could use some caffeine. I thought I wanted a snack but when we got there I didn't feel like eating and after a few contractions daddy said it was time to get me to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital they checked me in and said I was 5cm...I was going to meet my baby soon! After getting into our room and settled it was only a few hours before you were ready to arrive. You arrived with an attitude of your own and came out crying before you were completely born into the world. When the doctor announced you were a girl I just smiled, like it was a secret we had shared for the last nine months. I couldn't wait to tell Kaitlyn she had a sister, she had been talking about a sister since before I was even pregnant.

You are now one week old and the perfect completion to our family. It's only been 7 days and I cannot imagine our family without you in it. Lance emphatically calls you "VA!" and Kaitlyn asks to hold you about 28 times a day. She cannot get enough of you and is always trying to soothe you when you cry and play with you while you are awake. Lance wants to hold you a lot as well and is mostly very sweet and gentle with you, he's only whacked you over the head once all week.

Here are some pictures of our adventures as a family of five from the last week...

A Glimpse Into the Future...

2010-07-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

This week Kaitlyn has been starting every sentence with "When I'm big and I'm a mommy..." She has also informed me that when she's a mommy she is going to have four babies and everyone will see her driving around in her van with her four babies. She recently stuck a balloon under her dress and exclaimed "Look Mom, I'm preganant!" So much of how she views her world comes through in her desire to be big. She is constantly saying "I wish I could do that when I'm big."

I wish I could explain to her to that these are the most wonderful, carefree days of her life. That childhood is fleeting and one day much too soon the innocence of childhood will have long since faded and the reality of adulthood will truly be upon her. I wish I could protect her from it. Yet each new skill of independence marks a milestone, a sigh of relief that we are preparing her well for the life that is ahead of her. I just wish I could look ahead, to know how better to prepare her, how to protect her from injury, and disappointment, and heartache. To know what her specific trials will be and help her before she even reaches them.

When I thought about being a mother I never imagined worrying as much as I do. Once when Kaitlyn was a newborn I remember starting to cry one day. Ben asked what was wrong and I started to blubber something about "what if she meets the wrong boy when she's a teenager and makes the wrong choices and there's nothing we can do..." I think Ben's response was something like "Honey, she's 13 days old, let's worry about day 14 and then we can worry later about when she's 13 years old."

True, I was probably a tad bit emotional and postpartum, but the point is, I think as mothers it's inherent to worry. I have perfected that skill. The skill that still needs work is trust. Trusting the Lord to know the path for my children's lives and trust He will guide me in preparing them for those paths. He knows every second of what will happen in my children's lives and I need to trust in that. Not only because I am commanded to, but also as an example to my children in where my faith lies. I think a part of me will always be a worry wart about my children but I know I need to practice less worry and more trust.

So today, despite my worry about who her future husband will be, if she'll stay close to home so I can see her often, if I will be here to see her through each trial she will face until then; I will trust in what I know. Today, she is four. She loves wearing dresses and pumping herself on the swing. Her favorite food is Macaroni and Cheese and her biggest challenge in life is living with her brother. For all the rest, I will trust in what Jeremiah 29:11 says. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I know my children have awesome, amazing futures planned for their lives. But a part of me still holds on to my mommy worry. Especially when my four year old starts pretending to be pregnant and talking about how many children she'll be loading up in the minivan.

What a Difference a Year Makes!

2010-06-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

Kaitlyn had her last day of preschool yesterday and it occurred to me to take a picture to compare to the one we took on her first day. It is amazing how quickly the school year went by and how much she has changed. She is becoming such a beautiful, sweet spirited little girl. I am so proud of her. She constantly amazes me with the things she says and does. How is it so wonderful and so heart wrenching at the same time to watch your kids grow right in front of your eyes?

Sept 2009

June 2010

Catching Up 2010

2010-05-24T16:43:00.000-07:00

Since I went so long without posting there are a ton of pictures for me to share and I thought I would make it easy and just do a slide show. Here's a quick glimpse of what's been happening around the Nelson house lately!

I Have a Secret

2010-05-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

Being pregnant is like having this amazing secret all to yourself. (Except for the whole expanding belly for the world to see thing) I can feel when the baby is awake and moving, I know when it has the hiccups, there are so many moments that are shared by only the baby and myself. Every movement is like a tiny greeting from this little person inside me.

I love being pregnant. And even though I am at peace with this little addition being the last to our family, I know a part of me will always have that maternal ache to have "just one more." Knowing this is the last time I will do this makes me cherish it that much more. Part of me can't believe we are doing this all over again, and part of me aches knowing it is the last time I will experience this awesome, miraculous experience of growing a person and bringing it into the world. The births of my children have been the most exciting and amazing times of my life. And sharing those moments with my husband has been indescribable.

Sometimes when the baby kicks I tell someone and let them feel it kick, but there are many times when I am content to smile to myself and say a silent hello to who ever this is growing inside me. And when this pregnancy is over I know I will be ready to be done and see who this is, but today, I am holding on to my body, my shape, everything just the way it is, aches and pains included, and just enjoying this miracle for what it is.

Kaitlyn's 4th Birthday!

2010-04-01T14:19:00.000-07:00

This post is so overdue but Kaitlyn turned four in February and had her first "big girl" party with lots of friends. It was a swim party (yes in February) at Kaitlyn's request at an indoor pool that she has been taking lessons at. We should have taken many more pictures but everyone was so busy swimming that pictures were low on the priority scale. :) I still can't believe she is four years old. Her personality and spirit shine through more and more each day and the little person she has become just makes me marvel at how quickly they go from helpless and tiny to so big and independent. Her favorite things to do are draw, paint, (basically anything to do with art) swing, go on walks to the park and play with her brother. I cannot wait to see what the next year brings.

We always take a picture of the kids the day before their birthdays. Here is Kaitlyn's last day being three!

I Love...

2010-02-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

My husband. The father of my children. Pictures like this put everything into perspective.

This girl. She amazes me each and every day and I still wonder how she's only been around for (almost) 4 years and I feel like I have loved her all my life.

This little pile of mischief. He faithfully helps me learn and practice patience every minute of the day and smiles while doing so. He has what we refer to as the "evil smile." It has been plastered on his face all day today since he learned that child locks now no longer deter him.

Have you heard that the definition of a boy is a noise with dirt on it? Enough said.

My mom. She is here spending time with my children (allowing me to rest) as often as time allows and she is always doing dishes, laundry, or some other household task that always seems to evade me.

My dad and step mom. They have been married for 20 years and are the ultimate example of being in a loving, committed marriage no matter what! They raised four children, which in itself amazes me, and are now empty nesters who enjoy having their grandchildren come spice up their lives. A usual night as their house includes them cooking, cleaning and playing with my children, and me catching up on my People magazine. :)

My mother in law and father in law. They raised the man I married and have been a huge source of encouragement through the trials we have faced. Having them with me when Ben was hurt was a huge blessing. I will never forget the experience of spending almost every waking moment for 2 weeks straight with them. Plus they raised three children, I will soon sympathize with that :)

Here are some of my other loves...

milk

freshly laundered sheets

my brothers

home made lemonade

being barefoot

sleeping

the smell of coffee (but not really coffee itself)

baking

tea in a teacup with matching saucer

The Beatles

sushi

late nights around the campfire

Italian Parsley

freshly vacuumed carpet

my high school memories

my grandmother

cheeseburgers

poolside cabanas in Vegas

MOPS

quiet

listening to the waves of the ocean

Kelly Clarkson

using the silverware of a grandmother I never met

cake

Faith

the sound of my children laughing together

my childhood memories

At the Drawing Board

2010-01-05T11:05:00.000-08:00

Kaitlyn loves art. Anything to do with it. Drawing, painting, writing, play dough you name it. She is so creative and, if I may say so myself as only a slightly biased person, an amazing illustrator for her age. She comes up with the most random and wonderful drawings.

From this summer in sidewalk chalk... our family and our house.

The first word she wrote by herself. Cat!

Her birds are by far my favorite at the moment.

She drew them at school so I asked her "who showed you how to draw those?" Her teacher heard me ask her and said "no one, she drew them and then came up to us and said 'Look! A tweety bird!'"

I can said with a fair amount of confidence that she had no idea who Tweety Bird actually is, but that is what birds say so I think that's where the name came from.

Here's her self portrait with presents on Christmas morning. When I asked her who showed her how to draw present she said "Nobody! I did!"

And her version of Santa.

She got a mermaid Barbie for Christmas and drew her :)

Perhaps her stick figures will never evolve beyond anything greater than this. (heaven knows mine never did!) Perhaps her creative streak will fade. But looking at things through her eyes is so neat. I hope she continues to express herself through art...just as long as she doesn't draw anymore pictures of me with a belly bigger than my head. Amen.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-04T13:59:00.001-08:00

On New Years Eve we attended an "East Coast" new years eve party!

Hosted by our friends the Lowe family, a bunch of families came together to watch the ball drop at "midnight" east coast time and then head home in time to be in bed at a reasonable hour!

We had so much fun!

Even Lance stayed up to enjoy the festivities...and chew on my teething necklace.

Kaitlyn and her friend Makena ringing in the new year together! They have known each other since they were six weeks old. Man how time flies!

My friend Kate and I. My first Lincoln friend, someone to commiserate with on the trails of daily life as a stay at home mama and someone who watches my children... even when she doesn't want to. That's a true friend!

Kate and Kandice sporting the beautiful tiaras of 2010!

Me and my Lincoln girls. Kandice, Kate and Shannon. So much fun to be together after 5pm! Happy New Year everyone! I cannot wait to see what 2010 has in store for us all. Hopefully full nights of sleep and occasional dates with our husbands. What can I say, I like to set the bar high!

Catching Up and Goodbye 2009!

2009-12-31T17:32:00.000-08:00

What an amazing year it has been! 2009 brought both triumphs and trials to our family but overall it was such an exciting year. Lance grew before our eyes and went from tiny newborn to walking, signing and being a busy little boy! Kaitlyn continued to amaze us with her sweet spirit, especially where her brother is concerned, and her drawing skills. (More on that in a future blog) Ben and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary with a quick overnight to Napa thanks to my mom watching the kids.

And although it seems like a dream, I did escape to Vegas with some friends for a girls trip. It was the first vacation I have ever gone on by myself without my husband or family and although I did spend a fair amount of time sleeping, it is still a memory I will cherish for a long time.

But back to Christmas...

Christmas brought a huge haul for both my children and I am still reeling at the sheer magnitude of it all. Not to mention where it all will fit! So thankful for all the people who love and spoil my children.

Kaitlyn's two big ticket items this year were a robot and a princess phone. The princess phone was easy enough to find. Then there was the robot...oh the robot. I tried to tell her she's a girl, and it's not the 1990's but she insisted that she really wanted a robot. So she got a Wall-E robot from the Disney Store. It's already out of batteries and will soon be forgotten I'm sure, but she got her Christmas wish, and it was even on clearance...I mean, Santa remembered!

Decorating the tree this year was...an art. Lance immediately showed much more interest in the tree, and the ornaments, than Kaitlyn did at this age. We decided to give up that battle immediately and just put non breakable items on the bottom of the tree and avoid disaster.

Surprisingly, the only one who kept breaking ornaments is my three year old. *Sigh*

We celebrated Christmas three separate times throughout the week and it was wonderful to have time with all our family members. All three of my brothers were there Christmas morning and I cannot tell you how many years it has been since we've all been together on a Christmas morning.

My mom stayed the night the day before Christmas Eve and we had a very special crab dinner (thanks Trader Joe's!) and got to spend the evening together and then wake up the next morning for Christmas #1. Kaitlyn loved having her Oba (Japanese for Grandma) spend the night!

Our Christmas with Ben's parents was exciting as well. Kaitlyn loves playing with her cousins.(and with everyone's new gifts) I think Ben's favorite part was his mom's chocolate pie. It's famous, it's a food group all on it's own, she makes them in beautiful Williams and Sonoma scalloped edged pie plates and then threatens our lives if we don't bring the beautiful pie plates back. It's all very magical, and my husband could eat a whole pie himself if I wasn't there to hold him back. Amen.

What a wonderful blessing to have so many family members so close to celebrate the birth of our Saviour. Happy New Year! I cannot wait to see what 2010 has in store!

Lance is ONE!

2009-12-27T16:18:00.000-08:00

My poor December baby. Part of me still feels guilty about his birthday, as if he has any idea what a birthday is, and am afraid he will need lifelong therapy to get over this tragedy. Nonetheless we did have a family birthday party for the little dude and although he was not interested in opening or playing with his gifts whatsoever, the rest of us enjoyed ourselves! Here are a few (alright a ton) pictures of the festivities...

Here's his actual birthday. First birthday breakfast!

Opening his first gift from our dear friend (and mother of his namesake) Melanie.

So excited to have his own silverware! Although he still steals mine as well.

Christmas is Coming!

2009-12-03T09:26:00.001-08:00

To all two or three of you who read my blog here's a fun thing to do with your kids. :) Print out a "letter to Santa" template here. Then go here to fill out a letter to send back to your child from Santa. Even if they can't write, just let them scribble on the letter template and get into the spirit! For ours I wrote that Santa was proud Kaitlyn is remembering that God wants her to obey her mom and dad. :) We're working on it!

He's Walking

2009-12-02T19:00:00.000-08:00

Some days I still cannot believe I am a mother of two. I keep waiting to feel like a grownup. Like someone who has been married for six years and has two children, a minivan, a dog, a mortgage, and two "small businesses."

This little face reminds me though that I do have all those things. When will I be a grownup? I don't know. But seeing my son take his first steps puts everything into perspective. Being grown up can wait until tomorrow...right now I am going to play with my kids. :)

Veteran's Day Thoughts

2009-11-11T19:40:00.001-08:00

This Veteran's Day I am thankful, as always, for our Veterans. For the men and women who serve or have served our great nation. Whether they have served in a war, overseas, or are one of the many who continue to protect our native soil right here in the United States. They all signed that dotted line. They all made a promise to protect our liberties and our lives.

But today got me thinking. Veteran's Day is more than just a day to be thankful for our Veterans. It is a day to remember what it means to even have Veterans. To have a country founded on freedom, to have men sacrifice their lives for what they believe in for even those who would argue with the cause. And what comes with that sacrifice, especially in times of war is a great cost. Yes, I am thankful for our Veterans, but I am also thankful for the ones they must let go of. The ones who are not celebrated as heroes until after they are gone.

Part of being a veteran, especially for my husband, is living with what has been lost. The pain of loosing someone does not lessen with time, perhaps time does heal, in a way, but the ache we feel when we think of these people still remains. This blog is dedicated to those veterans who have not only served, but have served amongst the bravest there are, and have had to let them go. My father in law lost his cousin, his best friend, in Vietnam. And although I am thankful for his service, I am infinitely grateful for his example, his integrity and his determination to live his life knowing those he lost, especially his cousin, would have wanted him to live it to the fullest, and remember them fondly. There are so many veterans who have not had to experience this kind of loss, the loss of their brothers, of their second family, and for that I am grateful. But for those who have, you have my respect, my support and my gratitude. You are the reason my children sleep safely in their beds at night. You have a purpose beyond what you even realize. A place in history and a huge place in my heart. Thank you.

Halloween 2009

2009-11-02T10:53:00.000-08:00

Part of what I love about having kids that I'm in charge...shocking I know. :) So when the idea of coordinating the kids Halloween costumes came to me (and I knew this may be one of the only years I would be able to convince Kaitlyn) I went with it! At first she wanted to be Ariel, but finding a costume for Lance to go with that proved to be exhausting.

Finally I suggested she be Alice in Wonderland. She loves the movie and it was the first ride she ever rode at Disneyland, and the one she asked for first when we went back.

Finding her costume was easy. It was cheap and came quickly. Lance's costume, again, was difficult. It didn't come in time to wear to my mother in laws Halloween party but he ended up being an adorable lion! Kaitlyn was excited at the idea of him being the white rabbit, so we stuck with that for Halloween, and I knew his costume would need a few alterations. Most rabbit costumes have a pink belly that doesn't do too much for that whole boy thing. So I bought a red sweatshirt and my mom fashioned something to go over it to resemble the scene where they are playing croquet with the Queen of Hearts.

Halloween was quite exciting for Kaitlyn who knew what it was all about! She told everyone who gave her candy, "thank you, see you next Wednesday!" Alright, she doesn't know quite what it's all about but she's getting there. And she has really nice manners anyway.

Mealtime Triumph

2009-10-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

There have been some amazing changes in the last week at the Nelson household. Our three year old eats broccoli!!! YES, you heard me right, a green vegetable! She also has decided she likes grapes as well, but another fruit in her repertoire pales in comparison to the one vegetable she will now eat. :)

One night this week we had broccoli with dinner. She not only tried her broccoli, she ate it all. I was stunned. Then she asked for more. I almost fell off my chair. When she finished her second helping (which was actually my broccoli) and asked for a third, I almost cried. Then I told her there wasn't any more broccoli because she ate it all.

The next day she asked if she could have broccoli and macaroni and cheese for lunch and I was happy to comply! (We'll work on the mac and cheese obsession at a later date) Then we went to the store and she said "Mom, don't forget to get some broccoli!"

So to all you moms out there with picky eaters I say...repetition works!

Just look at that mouthful of broccoli!

And every time you tell yourself you don't want to "waste" a vegetable on your toddler who you just know will not eat it, just tell yourself not to waste an opportunity to be one meal closer to your child actually eating that vegetable. If you don't expose your child to different things, they'll never have the opportunity to try and like them!

*This post is dedicated to Lynne, who has encouraged me about my picky eater for the last (almost) three years.

In Case You Didn't Know...

2009-10-24T09:55:00.001-07:00

Boys are different than girls. Even at 10 months old the difference between my son and daughter in attitude, appetite, and aptitude is staggering. When a boy is hungry, he's HUNGRY! So the other morning I was taking a little longer getting breakfast ready than my son would have liked. He took it upon himself to quietly find something to eat and help himself.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I would rather my infant not have Ritz crackers for breakfast...although I guess it could be worse!

My Big Helper

2009-10-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

Kaitlyn has been a huge help since the day Lance was born. To say I love the order and age difference of my children would be an understatement. I am so proud of Kaitlyn, for many reasons, but especially for what a wonderful big sister she is. When he cries she does this funny little dance and makes a funny noise, both of which she only does at her brother, and it works...every time. When Lance wakes up crying she says "I'm gonna go rescue him!" and runs into his room, climbs in his crib and plays with him until I get there. She is constantly asking if she can feed him, bathe him, see his diaper (I know, she's weird) and I take every opportunity to let her help. :) And although he's almost as big as she is these days, they both seems to enjoy her feeding him. I love that he touches her face while she holds him and that she kisses him and gives me the perfect paparazzi moment without even being asked!

No Words Necessary

2009-10-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

Going...Going...Gone

2009-10-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of Lance's first time having spaghetti at the Spaghetti Factory. Quite appropriate if you ask me :)

Not only did he LOVE it and make that very verbally known (to anyone within shouting distance) he got the hang of noodle slurping right away!

I am so proud.

Monterey Bay

2009-09-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

We recently took a trip to the Monterey, CA to visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium. They have a new seahorse exhibit that I was especially excited about and I knew Kaitlyn would love it there.

These two little faces just melt my heart. I love early morning pictures, a new day...full of opportunity for mischief!

Here's Daddy trying to get some sleep with our two little ruffians making that a bit difficult.

She loved watching the divers feed the fish and sharks. She watched the entire time and at the end the diver waved right at her before ascending, she was thrilled.

Face to face with a seahorse.

You have to do something like this when you go somewhere fun. The quintessential corny souvenir photo is just plain fun. Try it, you'll like it!

Please note what's on her dress...otherwise all my efforts will be futile. Plus my husband didn't think it was that cool and I was thrilled, seriously. The life of a mother!

See that thing that looks like a plant? It's a seahorse. Who knew there were that many different kinds of seahorses? Plus, seahorse males carry and give birth. Now that's a world I could learn to live in!

9/11 (and the beginning of Our Story)

2009-09-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

I posted on facebook this morning that not many words can express how I feel today...but that's not really true. After some reflection I always end up at the same place on this day every year. Reveling in the fact that this one day in history, changed my life forever in SO many ways.

I know this day changed us all, and the change is different for each. Some became more thankful for what they have here, in this amazing country, some vowed to protect our country from attacks from that day on, joining the armed forces or law enforcement and some made the ultimate sacrifice fighting for not only Americans, but people around the world.

I was 18 years old and had just graduated from high school that June. My friend Carrie called me at 9:30am and woke me up. I was sleeping...at 9:30am. Just thought I would mention I did that once upon a time. Anyway, she called around 9:30...

"Hello?"

"The World Trade Center was attacked!"

"The what?"

"The Twin Towers just fell!"

"Oh................What?"

"In New York City"

"...........Huh?"

"Just turn on your TV!!!

"Ok bye"

This was when I had time to have long drawn out phone conversations. :)

Let me just take this opportunity to say I am a California girl born and raised and had no idea what the World Trade Center was. Call me sheltered if you must but it's the truth. Comprehending what was happening was a bit more difficult for me than other perhaps but it didn't take long. I went to work that night and the customers sat at the bar and just stared at the TV. It was like the world was moving in slow motion. I don't remember talking to my husband that day, strangely enough. I know I must have, but it was a big day. A day that changed our lives. For something in my husband was determined that day. Determined to fight whoever did it, and to fight all who would dare to try it again.

My husband had thought about joining the Marine Corps long before 9/11, since he was a child actually. And although he will be known, along with thousands of others, as a "September 11th marine" the Lord put that on his heart and mind long before that terrible day. His decision to enlist, while shocking to me in many ways, seems like what he was destined to do. The one thing in his life he would have always wondered about, and I think, regretted not doing. September 11th helped him to realize his dream of serving our country, and he did.

He signed the papers in September of 2001 and was in boot camp by October. I will never know everything he went through in boot camp but I will say he came through to the other side a different person, a man. Everything about him seemed different to me. He was one of many, they all looked the same, they all acted the same. As time distanced him from that training he became more himself, although something was forever changed. I will always remember one morning while he was in SOI (School of Infantry) watching him put on his boots. He was so precise it looked almost robotic, he didn't even notice me watching him he was so intent on this task. I cannot describe what I felt, except to say I felt devastated, as if the person I knew before had been replaced. I got in my car to drive, and cried most of the way home.

The next few years would be full of milestones for us. The day I turned 19 years old Ben asked me to marry him. The wedding was planned for nine months later. The day after the invitations were set to go out I called my step mom to ask if she had mailed them. She told me that she hadn't and that she was in the process of getting stamps on them and apologized. I told her not to send them; Ben was going to Iraq. After many months of dates coming and going the day really did come. I drove him to the base and somehow we said our goodbyes. When I got home from dropping him off I found a note written on the mirror in the bathroom. It read "I am coming home to marry you."

To Be Continued...

Kaitlyn's First Day of Preschool!

2009-09-02T20:44:00.001-07:00

How is it possible that my baby is in PRESCHOOL? While I contemplate that, here are some pictures from our day...

Getting ready to leave

Her big girl backpack. It's huge. But it's princess and she loves it.

I love walking her to school. My dad used to walk me to school everyday. Isn't it strange when you do something with your children that your parents used to do with you as a child? That sense of nostalgia is enough to make me laugh and cry all at once.

As we made our way to the school she was running and screaming "Faster, faster, more, more!!!" Then she told me her stomach felt funny and she needed to stop running. Isn't that a nice story?

She obliged me long enough to hold still next to her Daddy and brother long enough for me to snap a picture.

I suppose the rest of my life will be filled with moments like these. Moments where I am smiling on the outside, and my heart is breaking just a little on the inside. I know it's going to be good...for both of us. I know why I am doing it. And I know she already loves it. But something about that independence, about that desire to explore her world and have new experiences, without me, makes my heart ache.

And there she goes. *sigh*

Six Years Ago...

2009-08-31T20:43:00.001-07:00

Six years ago today I married the love of my life. Though we never could have predicted everything that would happen during the last six years, we're still here. We have chosen to hold to each other during times that should break us apart. And even though we have our disagreements, at the end of the day, we are still right where we want to be. Here are some pictures of us on that day... young and with NO notion of what the next six years would hold...just the way it should be :)

The World of Lance Tyler

2009-08-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

Lance, our energetic little Bubba. He's 8 months old now and he is EVERYWHERE. Crawling, pulling himself up on anything that will hold still long enough, playing in the dogs' water bowl, cruising the furniture, growling, yelling, playing in the dogs' water bowl, pulling himself up and ...well you get the picture.

His favorite things are following his sister everywhere she goes, trying to take her toys, climbing on her, grabbing her hair, pulling on her clothes and just generally being a little brother. :) Here is one of them being cooperative, isn't that nice?

His other love though is the bathroom, specifically the bath. The boy can hear the bath running anywhere in the house and he's there!

And even when there's no prospect of a bath, he's still there...giving me this look.

Is it wrong to give him a bath 5 times a day if he gives me this look?

He often can be found looking like this. With his little tongue sticking out. Is that the cutest face you've ever seen? My heart just melts when I see his sweet little face. And then I want to go find Ben and tell him we need more little faces in our lives.

And speaking of faces...this is a face we see quite often in our house. It's that scrunchy face, with air being pushed forcefully in and out of the nostrils. He does this when prompted, and when he's frustrated, upset, irritated or bored. It's cute and highly encouraged by all members of the family.

This is him, such a smiley, happy boy. He's always laughing and squealing, especially at everything his sister does. Oh the sibling love, please tell me it will stay this way. Please?

Comparison

2009-08-03T17:20:00.000-07:00

I have had several people comment on how much my children look alike, and likewise, have had several people tell me they look nothing alike. So for comparison purposes I dug up pictures of my children at approximately the same age, doing the same thing. What do you think?

Summer Fun!

2009-07-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

As a child summer was always such a fun time. The sound of the ice cream truck, the smell of chlorine and freshly cut grass. Riding bikes and watching my brothers play football in the front yard and then beat each other up when they disagreed on which down it was. And if they are reading this they are probably so proud I know what a down is, well, sort of. Anyhoo...

And the exhilaration of playing chicken with the waves at the beach.

This was the biggest "wave" we saw, but she still thought it was hilarious to crawl away from them. What a goofball.

Meet Sarah. My daughter's "sister from another mister." These girls were destined to be best friends before birth... mostly because we told them so. :) They don't seem to mind.

While vacationing in San Diego with the kids we were lucky enough to be let in on a little secret. There is a place at the beach on base (a place I lived just minutes from for 5 years and never knew about!) that has two very long jetties which makes the water virtually wave less.

How wonderful! The girls got to enjoy the water, and we got to go to the beach without wondering how many times they would be swept off their feet and into the foam. Though the lack of waves makes NO difference whatsoever that you always return with the entire beach in every crevice of the kids bodies, trust me on that.

This lack of waves gave me time to dig a hole in the sand and make it look like my son could sit up by himself. Which by the way, he can now.

And it gave my son time to explore the sand.

Translation...it gave him time to eat as much sand as humanly possible before I began to worry about his future diapers and put him on a blanket, which he screamed bloody murder about.

But then he got over it.

Conversations with Kaitlyn

2009-06-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

Uncle Dan: Kaitlyn, if someone told me I could have kids as cute as you maybe I would have a baby someday

Kaitlyn: WHAT? You can't have a baby Uncle Danny. You're just so confusing!

Continued...

Kaitlyn: Mom, am I big YET?!?

My Son's Namesake

2009-05-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day.

A day that used to mean a day off from school, a long weekend, barbecues with family and friends, and a hint of the summer to come. How much more this day means than most people realize. Today I am reflecting on my son's namesake, Lance M. Thompson. Lance was killed on November 15th, 2004 in the same accident that wounded my husband. He was 21 years old. He was a patriot, a wonderful friend, and most of all, he loved the Lord.

In a letter Lance wrote to his father a few months before he was killed he wrote this..."Freedom is not free. It requires sacrifice." And he truly believed that. What a wonderful legacy to leave my son. And though I say his name daily, true reflection on his name and the man my Lance was named after always makes my heart ache, as a wife, as a mother, and as someone who loves this country.

I know Lance believed in what he was there for. But I wonder what he would think of this "transformation" that is supposed to happening to our country. Can things in this country be improved? Of course. There's always room for improvement. But does our country need to be transformed? No, that would imply that it's not the greatest nation on earth, that it is wrong in it's entirety. And I don't believe that. I believe that there's always room to IMPROVE, yes, but transform, no. I believe Lance fought and died in Iraq to continue our freedom, our liberty, and to give those people even a glimpse of the freedom and blessings we all enjoy here. I don't want to see this nation transformed, that's not what he fought for, that's not what he died for.

This Memorial Day, instead of gathering for fun and giving no thought to the true meaning of this important day, I will hold my family close. I will look my husband in the eyes and thank him for his sacrifices. And I will look at my son, and remember a man. A man who gave his life for what he believed in, and gave my son his name.

Her Spirit

2009-05-20T09:31:00.001-07:00

I love this child.

A LOT.

As time moves on her unique and beautiful spirit is beginning to peek through all the three year old behavior that is...less than thrilling. She truly is a joy to be around and has such a sensitive and caring personality.

Wait.

But even through all her sass, there's still that smile.

She will still drop everything to kiss my boo boo for me if I hurt myself. And likewise when she hurts herself a kiss from me makes the whole world right again. When her brother cries she tries anything and everything to help calm him. She'll climb into his crib to keep him company, (which he loves) shake toys at him while jumping up and down, and even share her beloved blanket with him. (Which as we all know is THE true testament of love)

She did this cute little pose all on her own.

With so many things being all about the baby the last few months it is sometimes easy to become distracted and forget how big my fist baby is getting! She has become so helpful and self sufficient that I forget to marvel at how much is accomplished in the first 3 years of life and how amazing it truly is. I love you sweet girl.

Please stop talking about getting married and having babies in your belly all the time.

Please?

Five Months Old

2009-05-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

Catching Up

2009-04-27T15:10:00.000-07:00

Things have been a bit crazy in the blogging (and regular) world for me here. I have started my own food blog and so I have been working on that. Mostly it started as a way for me to look at recipes I have done in the past when I am out of ideas for dinners for the week. But part of my passion for food is sharing it with others and swapping recipes and ideas. So here it is to share with anyone who is here. :)

In addition to that Lance celebrated his first Easter. Of course he had no idea what was going on but every baby's first holiday is a milestone for every mother. :) And we took the kids to Disneyland as well. Kaitlyn had a wonderful time, despite the 100 degree weather. We went for one day and it's amazing how little we were able to do in a whole day! I am sure there will be many more in her future though, this was just a taste! So here's some pictures from Easter. We went to church and then spent the day with Ben's family...

And our trip...

Baby Steals

2009-04-23T08:36:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite websites that I am on daily. Each day at 8am they post a new "steal." When I find something I wish I had but don't need, I buy it here and save it for the next baby shower I attend. Their items are unique and great quality any mother would appreciate. Check them out here...

A Three Year Old and a Three Month Old

2009-04-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

Being a mother of two is still relatively new territory to me and I am still amazed I have two children. Each day that passes has it's joys (like being closer to sleeping a whole night through!) and sorrows (my babies are getting so big!) and this last month I have been thinking about having a three year old and a three month old. So here's a picture of my "three milestone" duo. They are quite fond of each other and even at this young age, I can tell they are going to have that special sibling bond. You know the one, where one minute they're best friends and the next minute they're hurting one another. Oh the joy of what I have to look forward to! :)

I Love My Husband

2009-04-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

He went to San Diego overnight on Sun, which being sleep deprived I was a little jealous of, and when he came home yesterday he brought me these...

My favorite kind of flowers...

#1 Random for no special reason
#2 Already cut (as opposed to potted) so when they die I know it's not my fault!

They are so beautiful and the house smells so good. Thank you for still loving me almost 6 years later. I love you Honey!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

Wordful Wednesday

2009-03-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

This week has been trying. While I love my daughter, I don't love the sass, whining, tattling and back talking, no, not so much. So a few minutes ago I asked Kaitlyn to start cleaning her room and getting ready for bed. Let's just say it did not go as I was hoping it would and very exasperated I said to her "Kaitlyn, I am SO tired of you not listening to me." Her response you ask???

"I'm tired TOO... Of you being so CRABBY!"

*Sigh*

Three Months Old

2009-03-16T16:20:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe our little man has been with us for three months already! He is such a joy to have in our family and already so BOY! He is always grunting and growling, among the many other boy noises his body makes. :) He loves playing in his excersaucer and seeing glimpses of his sister as she plays and runs by. Sleep is slowly starting to get better around here. Sure a lot of it is in his swing, but we're getting there! Most nights he is sleeping at least one 5-6 hour stretch and that is so nice. Ben's schedule allows him to be up late at night and most nights he takes care of at least one of Lance's feedings so I can sleep. I love that man, he knows what is truely important to me these days! Here are some pictures of Lance on his 3 month birthday. Happy 3 months Buddy!

Our Little Picasso

2009-03-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

Kaitlyn loves all things art. She received art supplies for Christmas and her birthday and is constantly telling me "I have to do my work mom!" Alright I admit she mostly says that when I want her to do something, but still. :) Here is Kaitlyn's version of me. I know I am biased but I think it's pretty good for someone who just turned three! Plus I like how she always gives me earrings! She sure is getting big quickly.

Conversations with Kaitlyn

2009-03-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

Having a preschooler is so much fun. Really. But sometimes I wonder where she gets the things she says. She surprises me most everyday with some witty retort or dramatic exclamation of some sort. Here are some of my favorite conversations with Kaitlyn. :)

Kaitlyn was crying in her bed one night and when asked what happened this is how the conversation went...

Kaitlyn: I just hurt my face (sobbing)
Daddy: Well what happened?
Kaitlyn: My face was hurting!
Daddy: Well what were you doing when your face got hurt?
Kaitlyn: Saying OWW!

And yet another on our way to church...

Kaitlyn: You hurt my feelings Mama
Mom: When?
Kaitlyn: At the house when you yelled at me about my shoes
Mom: I didn't yell, and you need to obey me when I ask you to do something
Kaitlyn: YOU JUST RUINED MY LIFE! (Picture her head in her hands, seriously)

And the other day while I was putting on deoderant...

Kaitlyn: Can I put some on?
Mom: Sure
Kaitlyn: (Puts some on and looks satisfied) There, my stinky pits are all beautiful now!

For her birthday we gave her a Tinkerbelle nightgown and when she saw it she hugged it and said "I love it! this is the best night gown you ever gave me!"

Happy Birthday Kaitlyn!!! (And a look back)

2009-02-24T20:21:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from today, Kaitlyn's 3rd birthday! Notice her (newly) pierced ears. :) We had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, but she was more interested in playing with her new toys. This afternoon we went to her favorite cupcake place for a splurge and had a special movie night as a family. She even got to stay up late. (8:30!) Happy birthday big girl, each day has been a new adventure, we love you!

Three Years Ago Today...

2009-02-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

it was my due date. It was my due date and my baby was NOT here yet! I remember Ben taking me to a little Mexican place for dinner and making me eat jalapenos, which did nothing but give me heartburn. We even took some home in a plastic cup from the little chip and salsa buffet at the restaurant. We had been taking walks everyday and we walked that night. We went to a late Valentine's Day couples event at our church. I remember being so crabby. This was the day I was supposed to meet my baby, the day I had waited my entire life for, the day that had been circled on the calendar for nine months!

Needless to say she didn't come for another five days :) But she came exactly when she was supposed to. I began having contractions at 11pm on February 23rd. They began slowly and were irregular but by 7am Ben was telling me we needed to go to the hospital. We went outside and the truck wouldn't start, a detail that I didn't remember for a long time, probably because I was too focused on having a baby and I pushed it from my memory. :) We finally did get it started and began the almost hour drive in rush hour traffic to Camp Pendleton Naval Hospital. When we got to the hospital the Dr told the nurse I was "six and full" Ben looked at me and quietly said "Six centimeters?!?" I nodded with a smile and sent him outside to call our parents. We were having our baby! She came on a chilly February evening at 5:08 pm. When I finally held her in my arms I couldn't believe this little thing came out of me. How could something so pure and perfect have come from my body? And what did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful little girl in my life?

That day was the beginning of so many things in my life. Before that day I was married, part of a couple. Now we were a family. And now, three years (almost) later, I am in awe of what the past three years have held for us.What a joy it has been to watch her change and grow into a little person. And now, with the addition of another member of our family here I am reminded of just how blessed we are, and how much we have to look forward to.

My Big Girl

2009-02-16T17:54:00.000-08:00

For Valentine's Day Kaitlyn and I made rice crispy treats for Daddy. I forgot all about rice crispy treats! What a simple, fun cooking project that can be decorated especially for any occasion!
Kaitlyn was very proud of her creation, which she calls "a cake." She is continuously asking if she can help me in the kitchen. Don't get me wrong, I love her eagerness to help and she is turning into quite the domestic goddess at home, but sometimes she helps a little too much for Mommy. :) Like when I am sorting laundry and a navy blue sock ends up in with the whites. Anyway, although I don't completely boycott Valentine's Day I don't need a special day of the year to tell my husband or my children that I love them. I tell them, and show them, everyday. The commercialism of it all just bothers me. However, for Valentine's Day Ben got Kaitlyn, unbeknownst to me, a little cooking set from Pampered Chef. (Thanks Rachel!) It is so adorable that I forgot all about my Vday gripes and was immediately thrilled. And my gift wasn't shabby either. (The man knows how to buys gifts I tell ya, but that's a different post for a different day.) The set included an apron, chef's hat, measuring cups, "cookie cutters," and some recipe cards with all the different things you can do with them. Tonight for dinner we are making heart shaped grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. So here are some pictures of my big girl with her sweet Valentine's Day creation, complete with chef's hat, an apron, and a huge smile! Sending love to you all!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-11T13:03:00.001-08:00

Lance is Eight Weeks Old!

2009-02-10T08:12:00.000-08:00

Eight weeks. Wow. It is going by even more quickly this time than it did with Kaitlyn. Things are still busy around here, but it's the good kind :) Ben has been working a ton of overtime lately and my days are filled with baby smiles and big girl mischief. (Tune in tomorrow for wordless Wednesday to see some of this mischief. ) Lance is growing like a weed, he is in 6 month clothes now, and is such a happy baby. He sleeps well and loves Kaitlyn already, even when she's poking him in the face or talking much too loudly in his ear, he always has smiles for sister.

As Kaitlyn approaches her third birthday the sass is astounding. Seriously I was expecting this kind of attitude from my teenager, not my two year old. Good times I tell ya. For the most part though she is my big helper, eager to help with anything involving her brother and especially anything to do with cooking. She loves "writing notes" and building the Eiffel Tower with her blocks. Everyday is an adventure with her, you tell her something once and she remembers...FOREVER. She must have heard the phrase "That's not fair!" somewhere because this is what she says to me whenever she's frustrated about anything. Who teaches her these things?

Quote of the Day

2009-01-30T15:27:00.000-08:00

Kaitlyn: "Mommy, I have a wedgie in my ear!"

That's all :)

Thoughtful Thursday

2009-01-29T17:17:00.000-08:00

I've always known I would love my children. When I was a little girl I dreamed of being married and having a family of my own. I always knew that was going to be a huge priority for me and that I would probably do those things relatively early on in my life. But I never realized how much I would LOVE my kids. If you are a parent you know what I mean. That overwhelming feeling that comes over you, the one where you feel like crying and beaming (and often do both) for the love of your children.

This morning Kaitlyn said to me "Mommy, you're my best fwend in the whole wold." I hadn't done anything especially special. She had been awake only a few minutes and I was laying in bed with her while she woke up. No lights were on yet, and the sun was just beginning to peek through her blinds. It's moments like this that I realize how important my job is. And although I don't make six figures or live in a fancy house, I am paid far more than I ever though possible.

Now I realize that my best friend status could change at any moment, (like this afternoon when she was mad I wouldn't jump at her suggestion to go to the store and get cupcakes) but I'll take it anyway. :)

How Does this Happen???

2009-01-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

Lance is one month old today! The last month has been a wonderful and exciting one for our family. Our "little man," as deemed by his big sister, is changing and growing so quickly and the firsts are already beginning. His first smile was on Sat. January 10th and they have been occasionally given since then. We even got a picture of one already! His first bath was slightly traumatic but we all survived it, even Kaitlyn who was very concerned for her brother while all the screaming was ensuing. Ben is back to work and I am adjusting to being a mother of two and all that entails. My biggest challenge is leaving the house! Ben's new shift is 12pm-12am so the nights are lonely and bedtime is challenging, but we survive and are thankful for all that Ben's job provides for us. Here's some pictures from the last few weeks...

Meals and More

2009-01-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

Since having Lance we have been inundated with not only visitors but meals as well! The girls at MOPS graciously set up a list for anyone willing to bring us meals. Some of my girlfriends not involved in MOPS participated as well. Not only was it a huge relief not to have to cook every night and be able to spend that precious time with the newest member of our family, but it has been a financial help as well. What a blessing to have someone make a home made meal for my family. For me, nothing shows love like food, seriously. Thank you so much to everyone who brought over a meal or snack basket, it means the world to us!

I must say however that a certain aspect of one meal was the Icing on the Cake! After the meal was dropped off I was (excitedly) unpacking it when I noticed a fancy box. I took care to let my three year old continue to exclaim over the bag of tortilla chips and grabbed it quickly out of the bag. When I opened the box here's what I found...

Did you hear me gasp?

It really is the simple things in life that give me pleasure. Thank you Lord for the wonderful women I am friends with, and the ones I have yet to get to know, and thank you for cupcakes. :)

Two Weeks Old

2008-12-30T17:20:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks have been busy ones for the Nelson family. Filled with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and adjusting to our new little guy. Kaitlyn has taken to him quite well and although there has been the usual period of adjustment, she loves her brother and calls him "my baby" most of the time. She loves to help care for him, especially turning on his mobile when he's awake, and is very gentle...most of the time. :) The concept that I have TWO children still takes me by surprise most days and I can hardly believe I am lucky enough to have two healthy, beautiful children with the man I love. The last two weeks, although sleep deprived, have been wonderful and I know things will only get better. Happy two week birthday Lance!!!!

Introducing Lance Tyler Nelson

2008-12-17T18:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Family and Friends,
On December 16th 2008 at 10:56pm we welcomed Lance Tyler Nelson as the newest member of our family!!! Lance arrived weighing in at 7 pounds 14 ounces (just one ounce more than his sister did at birth) and 20.5 inches long. So far he is a very sleepy little boy and has already had many visitors come to welcome him to the world. Here are some pictures of his first days of life...

Baby...Come Out!!!

2008-12-16T05:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Tenant,
This is a formal notice of uterine eviction. You have two (2) days in which to either gather your belongings and promptly vacate the premises. After which, you will be physically removed from the property. You are being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made. Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper and lower levels of the home. Any further problems will result in immediate and forceful removal.

Respectfully,
Your Landlord (aka Mom)

Almost There!!!

2008-12-13T08:40:00.000-08:00

With five days left until my due date it is definitely a waiting game at the Nelson house these days! I have gone into hibernation mode and spend my time cleaning and playing with Kaitlyn. For those of you who have called with no response, I am still here! At the end of the day I am just done talking about how I haven't had the baby yet. My cousin Jamie came over yesterday and took some more belly pics, I am hoping they'll be my last ones! :)

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

Kid Bits

2008-12-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

I am always telling myself I need to write down the amusing things Kaitlyn says before I forget them and then inevitably the day goes on and the thought is gone. So I just logged on to put down a conversation we had just now...

Kaitlyn: "Look a polka dot." (Pointing at a freckle on my hand)
Me: "That's called a freckle."
Kaitlyn: "A freckle?"
Me: "Yes, a freckle. I don't think you have any freckles."
Kaitlyn: "I have a freckle right there!" Pointing to her thumb
Me: "Oh, you do have a freckle"
Kaitlyn: "That's a good point." (In a congratulatory tone to herself)

14 Days To Go!!!

2008-12-04T14:57:00.000-08:00

Today I am 38 weeks pregnant and have 14 days until my due date! Woohoo! Preparations for the new baby are coming together and the excitement is rising as everyone becomes anxious to see who this is! There is quite a debate going on whether this baby is a boy or girl! Ben keeps looking at me as if I am a time bomb ready to explode and I feel that way too!

For those of you on Nelson Baby Watch 2008 I had a Dr appointment yesterday and was told I am 1 cm dilated. So it's a step in the right direction! At this point with Kaitlyn there was nothing going on so I am hoping this means my body will be ready before my due date this time!

Here is the latest picture, it's me heading off to teach my last Jazzercise class before the baby comes. :)

Meme #1

2008-11-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

Here's my first Meme attempt. My friend Tara tagged anyone who hasn't blogged in the last two weeks. Way to be specific Tara! :) So here it is...

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person or persons who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Six Random Facts...

1. I love drinking tea from a teacup and saucer. You know, the little dainty ones that come with formal dinnerware that no one ever uses? Yeah, those. They just make me happy.

2. I LOVE milk. Seriously I could replace water and just drink milk.

3. I am one quarter Japanese, seriously. You can tell by my blonde hair and blues eyes right? :)

4. I could eat sushi or pasta everyday. Seriously my ancestry calls to me, I cannot resist a good sushi roll or a huge bowl of steaming pasta, more specifically alfredo. Ohhhhh yum.

5. My new favorite drink...Blood Orange Italian Soda. I think Target or Trader Joes must sell it. Don't knock it until you try it people! Someone brought it to MOPS, it is seriously the most exciting beverage I have had in a long time...besides my best friend milk of course.

6. I don't like Star Wars. I get that it's a part of Americana and all that but oh what a snoozefest! You might as well have me watching Spaceballs or Super Troopers while you're at it.

I don't have a huge blog following but I am tagging Katie, Kristen, Lauren, and any other MOPS moms who may be reading this!

Halloween

2008-11-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from Halloween. Kaitlyn decided to be Cinderella this year and is big into everything princess. I am happy to say that means we are moving away from Dora and I am thrilled with this development! She braved the drizzle and even got a beanie baby along with her candy this year. A pretty good haul for her second year of trick or treating!

Faithfulness

2008-10-30T15:03:00.000-07:00

I have been a bit emotional lately. When I feel down I can always count on one person for support, my best friend Lynne. She is a source of strength and encouragement to me and I can always count on her to listen and give me the honest feedback I need. I can call her anytime, day or night, and say anything knowing I am safe confiding in her. She never judges or interrupts, she just listens. She has seen me at my best and at my worst, and still loves me unconditionally.

Thinking about these wonderful truths makes me so thankful to have such a friend. I know I am blessed to have even one person I can count as a true friend. But it saddens me that I can't have the same confidence and trust in our Lord. That I don't consider HIM my first source of comfort and that I don't go to him first with my doubts. I long to be someone who has limitless faith, someone who always knows everything will be fine. I wish I never had anxiety about anything because I know He is in charge of everything. But the truth is...I do feel anxious, about many things. I do worry, and wonder, and question His plan for my life.

When Lynne and I met I could never have imagined our friendship would be what it is now. Our husbands decided we would all sit together at a Marine Corps Ball. I was quite hesitant about being forced to socialize all night with a woman I had never met before. In fact, I had a terrible attitude about it and told Ben something along the lines of "what if I don't like her at all, what if we have nothing in common?" Ben assured me her husband was a good guy and he was sure we would at least get along. Not only did we get along, we spend the entire night gabbing like sisters and, as my husband describes, "ignoring the guys." :) I found an instant friend in her and even if we only had the Marine Corps in common, that was enough, it was an understanding, a way of life. And this way of life was something not even my closest friends from home could understand.

Little did we know all we would go through together during the next 4 years. When the guys left for Iraq the first time I called Lynne the next day to ask what she was doing. I had just moved there and didn't know a soul. She was going to church and offered to pick me up on the way there. I accepted, relieved not to be alone. When she arrived to pick me up she was a vision of strength. She had obviously been crying, but she was a woman of faith, she knew it was God's plan and that her husband would be home soon. That deployment was full of ups and downs, as anyone could expect. But there was a tight bond formed by a small group of wives whose husband were all overseas. We cried a lot, but looking back, we laughed quite a bit as well. We had sleepovers, went on trips, scrapbooked into the early morning, cried on each others shoulders when we missed our husbands phone calls, celebrated every letter received in the mail and counted each day past as one closer to our men.

The bond formed in those months is difficult to describe. Part of it was out of necessity, survival. Just to have someone who knew how you were feeling without having to say one word. Someone to offer a shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen or a cup of hot tea to comfort. Someone who reminded you that you are not alone. We even named our "club" with a name and story too silly and secret to say. None of us had children yet and I count this as my "college experience." These were my sorority sisters, my bosom friends. (as Anne of Green Gables would say) Not only were we wonderful friends, but we were all Christians. And although we were all in very different places in our walk, we were all walking.

My husband's second deployment to Iraq would be the biggest test of my faith by far. He left on the day of our first wedding anniversary and after being there for ten weeks he was seriously injured, and the only survivor of that accident. After two days of feeling helpless and lost I suddenly knew what I had to do. I got on a plane and flew to Germany to get my husband. We arrived in the United States together and began his healing process at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, MD. Lynne was in New York visiting her mother at the time and drove 8 hours one way on icy roads with a 5 month old to see us, have dinner, and drive back. I don't think she said two words that night. She was just there, there for support, there to listen to me pour my heart out. When Ben and I arrived home a few weeks later I arrived to a spotless house, cleaned by my friends and a few women from church. This was a miracle! Everything was bright, fresh and cheery. My fridge and cupboards were full of food and the love put into making this as special a homecoming as possible was evident throughout our home.

As the months and years passed, our lives began to change. Some of us had children, some were restationed to other countries, some decided against the military world and became civilians once again. These women will always be an example of faith and love for me. They are still, and will always be my kindred spirits, no matter how many miles or months are between us. So to all my special friends out there (you know who you are) thank you for being my sisters and my family. You are special beyond measure and I cannot deny the Lord's faithfulness in allowing our paths to cross. But my true prayer today is to fully trust our Lord to be the first one I run to when I am feeling lost or discouraged. To be as faithful to Him as I pray He will continue to be in my life. To allow my friends to be the blessing that they are, and allow our Lord to have his rightful place in my heart.

Kaitlyn's Drawing

2008-10-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

This is Kaitlyn's version of me being pregnant. The huge belly is amusing. But not quite as amusing as the dialogue that ensued after this picture was created...

Mommy: Kaitlyn, that's awesome, but why do I have a sad face?
Kaitlyn: Oh, Mommy, it's OK! It's not a sad face, it's just a grumpy face.
Mommy: Oh, OK I feel much better.

2008-10-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from our annual trip to Bishop's Pumpkin Farm. Kaitlyn had a blast this year and is very excited about Halloween. This year the trip had extra meaning for me as I realized it would be our last time there just the three of us.

Why Do I Bother?

2008-10-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

Why do I bother arguing with a two year old? Seriously? How do I allow myself to get pulled into a verbal altercation with someone who until recently pooped in a diaper? Some of you may be laughing but this is my week this week. Today Kaitlyn and I were at Target and I was trying on a shirt in the dressing room. I asked her to sit down and stop yelling and anyway, here's the official transcript of our conversation...

Me: Kaitlyn please stop yelling and sit down on that stool

Kaitlyn: I caaaaaaaaaan't (insert whiny voice here)

Me: Yes you can and if you do not listen you will get a spanking

Kaitlyn: No I can't get a spanking, just don't have to

Me: Kaitlyn you will get a spanking if you continue not to listen and continue arguing

Kaitlyn: I'm NOT arguing!

Upside Down Day

2008-10-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

Last week we started gymnastics at the local community center and Kaitlyn loves it! We go once a week and today was "Upside Down Day." They started with a fairly familiar course and then went to all things upside down. Here's our little gymnast...

Third Trimester!!!

2008-09-21T19:36:00.000-07:00

I am officially in my third trimester and have less than 90 days to go! This pregnancy has gone by so quickly (for the most part) and I am trying to enjoy every moment, seeing as we still don't know how many children we want and this could potentially be the last time I do this. Although there are some of the normal discomforts of pregnancy I can honestly say I am one of those women who not only enjoys it, but LOVES being pregnant. The whole process is so amazing to me. I love feeling the baby move, watching my body change and knowing what I am making is a miracle. And although I so long to meet this baby and hold him/her, and see my children (that still sounds weird) together, I know this part of it goes by all too quickly.

We are already so blessed to have one healthy, smart, thriving child and I feel equally blessed with the upcoming arrival of this next one. Being a parent is so much more fun than I ever thought it would be. We knew it would be hard, long nights, sick children, ER visits and lots of bodily fluids, you hear all about that. But I honestly did not know how FUN this would be. Each day is a new adventure and to see things through my child's eyes is such a blessing. Her perspective on things keeps me in the moment. As a parent I find myself eagerly looking forward to new accomplishments and milestones in her life, but clinging to the very moment we're in, knowing she will only be little for such a short amount of time. Sometimes I wish I could pause the day, hour or second we're in and go back to it at any time. There are so many things that cannot be captured, even on film. So I will try to burn the memories into my mind, as many as I can. Because I know this will all go by before I know it.

Pictures from our Trip

2008-09-06T07:20:00.001-07:00

Five Years

2008-09-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Ben and I celebrated our fifth anniversary. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's been that long, it seems like it was so recently that I was tearfully kissing him goodbye, wondering when he would be back to marry me. Seven months later he returned to fulfill that promise and on August 31st 2003 we were married. One year later, to the day, he left for his second deployment to Iraq. After just six weeks I received the news that he had been seriously wounded. Two days later I was on a flight to Germany to get my man. What followed was months, and ultimately, years of recovery and healing. And though he is not the same man I married, in many ways, I still get glimpses of that man through everything that he has been through and I know it has changed and shaped our marriage forever. And although I never would have prayed for something like that to happen to him, or to us, I thank God that it did.

Today, and everyday, I am so thankful he was the soul survivor of that terrible day. Having the kind of perspective that incident gave us so early in our marriage was a gift. I am able to focus on what is truly important in life and know that sometimes you just have to let the little things go. These past five years have been everything I dreamed of and nothing like I thought they would be. Even on our worst days, I know we are lucky to have each other. I have a hardworking, chivalrous, upright, handsome husband who spoils me rotten and allows me to live out my dream of being a stay at home mom to my children. It hasn't always been easy or fun, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Seeing him as the father of my children only deepens my love and respect for him. I cannot imagine raising Kaitlyn (and this next baby) without his support and guidance, both for them and myself.

We are not perfect, we disagree, squabble and make mistakes. But if someone had told me 10 years ago that this is where I would be at this moment in my life, I would have wondered how all my dreams came true.

Kaitlyn felt the baby kick :)

2008-08-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

So this morning the baby was very active and I decided to take a chance and try to have Kaitlyn feel the baby. I asked if she wanted to feel the baby and pressed her hand to my belly. It didn't take long, but I was impressed she held it there as long as she did. When it kicked I said "Kaitlyn, did you feel the baby kick your hand?" She looked at me, not with awe or amazement, but just a matter-of-fact look and said "It not kick me, it kick a soccer ball! It RUN RUN RUN in there!" :) I love this kid.

I'm the boss...right?

2008-08-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been receiving a bit of backtalk from my daughter. I have recently started telling her "Kaitlyn, don't tell me no." Here's a conversation between Kaitlyn and I at the dinner table the other night...

Me: "Kaitlyn, no, don't do that with your fork."

K: "Mama, don't tell me no."

Me: "No, you don't tell me no."

K: "No YOU don't tell Meeee no."

Me: Kaitlyn, I am going to tell you no because I'm the Mom and I'm the boss."

K: "No, I'mmmm the boss! You not the boss!"

*Sigh*

Silly Saturday

2008-08-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures from today. I think we all have pictures of ourselves with our shirts on our heads right? :) And the second one is my little woman's first attempt at putting on lipstick, not bad for the first time!

Catching Up!

2008-07-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

It has been brought to my attention that I am a blogging world fugitive. So here I am to update everyone on what's been happening in our little world. :) Thanks for the push girls! Things are going really well at the Nelson household. Kaitlyn is sleeping in a big girl bed, is completely potty trained, wears panties even at night, and has not had an accident so far.

This pregnancy is flying by overall and I cannot believe we are halfway there. (I will be 20 weeks this Thursday.) Although I do have days where thinking about being pregnant for the entire rest of the year seems daunting! I felt the baby move for the first time last Thursday and have felt some good strong movement since then. Ben has even been able to feel it move which is pretty exciting. We had our ultrasound last week and everything looks good, two arms, two legs, all of that. We didn't find out the gender but we did get a quick peek between the legs and all I saw was dead space, so I am guessing this is another girl. Ben, however, swears he saw something between the legs and is convinced it's a boy. This should be fun. :) Only 20 more weeks to go!

Kaitlyn never fails to amaze me with the things that come out of her mouth. She has little phrases she uses constantly throughout the day. One of her favorites is "I just don't want to though." Oh the fun of having a two year old. :)

Yesterday we were in the car and she said "Mom, look at me, I'm smelling with my nose." And then proceeded to suck air in through her nostrils as hard as she could. Then she wanted me to try it. When I did she thought that was hilarious and we did that until I had to get out to pump gas. When I was done at the gas station she asked me to do it again, which I did, if a little less enthusiastically, and she told me, in a very matter-of-fact voice, "Mom, you have to be funny."

She's very into picking out what she wants to wear for the day. Luckily for the most part it's dresses so there's not too much mismatching going on, that would drive me crazy. She's all about "I do it myself" even when she can't, and has now begun to tell me "No, I'm the boss!"

She likes to rub and poke my ever expanding belly and made some comment about my belly button today. Last week I asked if she wanted to talk to the baby and she said yes. So she lifted my shirt and said "Hi baby. Ummm, I yur yister. I love you baby." And proceeded to gently rub my stomach. Oh my goodness that just melted my heart.

Kaitlyn's going to be a big sister!

2008-05-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

Kaitlyn's Second Birthday Party

2008-02-26T21:29:00.001-08:00

A part of me cannot believe I am writing about my baby's second birthday, how does this happen? It is true what they say, the days go by slow but the years go by fast. Her party was a blast and there was no mistaking who it was all about. I think it is safe to say a good time was had by all. Kaitlyn was surrounded by her family and friends and most importantly, everything Dora! What could be better? Here are some pictures of my girl's special day. And the night before, her last night of be ing one...

Prisoner of Potty Training!

2008-02-18T17:24:00.000-08:00

It all started on Sun Feb 10th. Kaitlyn told me she had to go potty and dragged me to the bathroom where she sat down and went. Mon the same thing happened and Tues followed suite. Tues I finally decided that was it. Three days in a row of her initiating it was enough of a sign of readiness. I put her in panties and off we went! We had two accidents that day, one of which I probably could have prevented because she was too into Dora and didn't want to go. The second day we didn't have any accidents. I was shocked and so proud and pleased. From there it's been a whirl of potties and panties. :) There have been some accidents and the #2 situation is still a bit shaky but I figure we'll get a hold of peeing and work from there.

There are so many transitions in the first few years of a child's life and to be honest, I have dreaded almost all of them, this one included and have realized, with a sigh of relief that each one turns out infinitely better than I ever thought possible. I think I had a harder time giving up bottles than she did, her pacifier was a breeze, and the one I dreaded most, one day we couldn't find it, we told her it was all gone, and that was that. There are two main points to all of this...

#1 I am scared about our next child if everything with her has been this easy!
#2 I STILL need to learn to let go and trust that things will happen at the EXACT moment they are supposed to.

Now this is not to say there will never be challenges or resistance to transitions like these, but the point is, I need to know that I can feel this kind of peace beforehand, not after when everything is over and done.

If anyone out there still occasionally checks my blog to see if I am alive, I am still here, thanks for believing in me :)

Wordless Wednesday

2007-12-19T07:47:00.001-08:00

Faithful

2007-12-12T07:34:00.001-08:00

Tara's Trust post got me thinking. My favorite word to describe our Lord...Faithful. He's faithful to fulfill ALL His promises, I can't even be faithful about doing a daily blog! What would it be like, I wonder, if I were to fulfill all my promises? If every time I said I was going to do something, I did it, without fail. Even small things.

I know He is waiting for me to fulfill unkept promises, and still He waits for me faithfully. Our Lord waits for ME, personally. He is perfect and faithful and I cannot go to Him. Why can't I be as faithful to Him?

2007-12-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

Christmas Edition Questionarre!

Thanks for the tag Tara! And thanks for the push I needed to get past the pumpkin patch! On to Christmas!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

I would have to say both, although I do lean towards the wrapping paper. Bags require tissue paper which seems almost impossible for me to remember at the store or keep neat when not in use. :) Tara, love your box idea, Ben's mom has some nesting boxes we always do that with but they're just Christmas themed, I never thought of wrapping them in special paper, knowing K she would just rip the paper off!

2. Real tree or artificial?

Artificial. Ben's parents gave us an artificial tree last year and this year I am going with a budget friendly repeat of that one. However, it is pre-lit and half the lights seem not to work or be replaceable, this is where having three sections of the tree that rotate come in handy :)

3. When do you put up the tree?

We don't have a specific day, we haven't done it yet this yet, we haven't gotten our lights up either. But I am not stressing about that this year. Lights and a tree are not what this season is about and I don't want to be focused on those kinds of things. Although I would like some light and a tree up at some point. :)

4.When do you take the tree down?

The day after Christmas! I am usually done by then and if I don't get it done during the break I just don't have as much motivation. Plus I figure the day after Christmas the kids will always still be distracted with their new toys and I can get it done!

5. Do you like eggnog?

Yes!!! Hot, cold, whip, cinnamon, nutmeg...I'll take it however it comes! Tara, here's hoping I need to drink Silk Nog this year with ya!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

When I was a teenager I got a hope chest (which I used to call my I hope (I get the heck out of here soon) chest!) and one Christmas I got dishes, bake ware and kitchen utensils to put in my hope chest for when I moved out. Funny how eager I was to move out, I look back and wonder why I didn't stay longer, my meals were cooked, my hot water paid for...ahhh to be young again :)

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

Yes, it's huge and ceramic and I don't know where to put it but the pieces are not separate so at least that's good. I want a small one for K to play with but have yet to get one yet.

8. Easiest person to buy for?

Kaitlyn, she's overjoyed with a pair of ruby red Dorothy slippers!

9. Hardest person to buy for?

Ben. He NEVER gives a list and is so hard to buy for. Still thinking on that one, I have a few weeks right? :)

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

I can't think of anything supremely awful at the moment.

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?

Mail, I just need stamps!

12. Favorite Christmas movie?

The Snowman. It's an animated short movie about a boy and a snowman he makes that takes him to a wonderful snowman party. There are no words (except an introduction narrative), just music and if you've never seen it, you should!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

Whenever I remember "oh yeah, I should probably start shopping for Christmas before it arrives!"

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

I don't think so. Mom makes homemade fruitcake and Dad LOVES it, so we've never had to recycle that either! :)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Food. I will be joining Tara this year for Christmas Eve.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?

CLEAR! Just love em!

17. Favorite Christmas song?

Oh Holy Night and Carol of the Bells

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

We have the morning to ourselves and then go to Ben's parents house in the afternoon.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph of course!

20. Angel on the tree top, or a star?

Angel I think.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

We open one gift on Christmas Eve, usually a new ornament to put on the tree and then the rest are opened in the morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

Being worried about money. I hate that this happens every year. It's not like we go crazy but it seems like there's always one more thing to buy and it takes over everything else that this season is about. Hence the reason I don't care that I have no lights or tree up, I am not sweating the small stuff this year!

23. What I love most about Christmas?

I love that it feels like a time of renewal, to celebrate the birth of our Lord and have the reminder of what He came for always makes me feel like no matter what I've done throughout the year, he's always waiting with open arms to welcome me into fellowship with Him.

Pictures from the pumpkin patch

2007-10-25T20:37:00.001-07:00

Ben, Kaitlyn and I took our first annual trip to the pumpkin patch today. I have decided it will be annual :) We didn't go for very long but it was a much needed family outing and we had a blast!

Time heals all wounds, right?

2007-09-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to think of a way to move on from my previous post, two words I cannot seem to get past. It feels like if I write words over those ones then it just didn't happen. I am at peace knowing it just wasn't the right time, but that doesn't make it hurt less.

And to compound everything, my doctors office made everything so much worse. No one ever called me or even showed any compassion when I called them. I know this happens to many women, but I am one woman and this was monumental for me. A little compassion wouldn't hurt them. Now I am trying to figure out if I even should bother letting them know I lost the baby, they didn't seem to care while it was happening so why would they care now? I am hoping that my referral for an OBGYN went through and that I can go talk to someone who knows what they are talking about and has some sympathy and bedside manner to go with their fancy doctorate.

Like I said, I know this is common, I KNOW there is a bigger plan, I KNOW we can have others, but it will never be that one. There is still a person I will always wonder about and will never know, at least not in this life.

Guess what...

2007-09-21T18:12:00.001-07:00

I'm pregnant. :)

Mollygrubbed

2007-09-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

I just looked up the definition of that word and it SO does not mean how we use it in my house, but I will give you the Nelson dictionary definition. :) Being mullygrubbed (or "mully" for short) means being in a funk. There is no real explanation or concrete reason you're just feeling blah. Well that's where I am right now. I am hormonally charged and I have no idea what's going on with my body. I am 5 days late now for my period with absolutely NO sign of it's approach and I have broken out like a teenager, which happened when I was pregnant with K. Nonetheless all three, count them 1, 2, 3 preganacy tests have been negative.

I have no patience for the kids, even my own. I feel anxious, who knows what about. I haven't prayed in weeks except with Kaitlyn and my prayers with her are very genuine and sincere but I can find no time for myself to read, pray, think. I have been cleaning like a mad woman all day and see no difference. Ben is now working nights so I don't see a lot of him, which means I have good time to get my homework done and clean the house but I just don't know. I know I was made for something better but I can't seem to make a commitment and stick to it and make a true and real change in my life or my relationship with God. My heart hurts and I know what advice I would give myself, if I were on the outside, but it's not as easy as all that. I know to change I have to want to change. And I want to want to change, but I guess I don't want to change enough that I actually act on it, does that make sense? I feel so alone right now which is ridiculous because I never get to be alone one second of the day :)

The funny thing is I know I have nothing to complain about. My life is so very blessed, but I guess this is just a cycle I go through. Kaitlyn cracks me up, she is precious and beautiful. I have a wonderful marriage. I just feel lost.

Sniff Sniff

2007-09-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

I came across this picture today that I had totally forgotten about. We have a digital camera and I am not so good at getting the pictures printed, plus it just overwhelms me when I realize how I could spent the rest of my life scrap booking and still never be done :) It just touched me and I needed to share it...

Randomness

2007-09-13T15:26:00.000-07:00

So Tara's blog got me thinking...I LOVE to share recipes with other women. When someone asks me for a recipe it is one of the highest compliments one could give me, that's just me. "Someone actually liked something I cooked enough to have it again and make it themselves? Happy day!"

So recently I have been wondering about why some women refuse to give out recipes. My stepmother is still wondering about the fudge recipe her grandmother gave to her that doesn't work. This was no accident for sure, my step mom is a wonderful cook and just knows that her grandmother messed it up on purpose. How sad that this recipe, and the memories that came of her making it all those years died with her. And when my step mom recently asked someone if they could exchange recipes sometime the person rudely said she "didn't have time for that sort of thing." So here's my challenge ladies...give out your "secret" recipe. You don't have to give it to me, but give someone the recipe that comforts you more than any other, or one that is just so delectable you just sigh at that first bite. I don't think any of my friends are like this but I had to get that one out. :)

More randomness...

Kaitlyn ate a corn dog for lunch today. I don't know why this is such a big deal, but to me it just is. I gave it to her, stick and all, and she daintily dipped it in ketchup and ate the entire thing. And then when we were in the car today she shouted "It's a truck!" Was that a sentence? Alright I will admit it came out more like "Eesh sha twuck!" but I knew what she meant. All these little things that are so huge right now. I will never get used to how sad it makes me. I know I should be excited, but something in me knows it will never be like this again.

Which brings me to my next topic, (hey I warned you it was random today) the next baby. Still no period and a negative HPT yesterday which makes me think there's no way because with K I took the same kind of test (the $ Tree ones) 2 days before my period was due and got a positive. I was supposed to start yesterday so I would think if I was pregnant I would get a positive by now. And somehow the obsession has died a little. Don't get me wrong we are still trying and I will be thrilled if I was but I am at peace knowing it is not my timing I should be concerned with.

It's the little things...

2007-09-06T07:23:00.000-07:00

There are some things I get so excited about. This is not the new car kind of excited, or even the new Coach bag kind of excited. (The whole $300 purse things still confuses me) I am talking about the infamous "little things." My days are full of them. Yesterday it amused me to no end that Kaitlyn now laughs at a certain part of Dora the Explorer every time. I can rewind just a few seconds and play that one part over and she giggles again! Usually she stares into the abyss of the TV, I swear that thing defines the phrase necessary evil, and I am worried the entire time that my child will have no brain left by kindergarten. Something amuses her, she is developing her own sense of humor, she is a little...person. No longer a baby, although she is still so little and helpless in many ways, she is growing up before my eyes. There are two words that I immediately think of when reflecting on this process, amazing and heartbreaking. I use those two words all too often and I sure you will all get tired of hearing them, but to me, they define what I feel as I watch this wonderful little person.

I challenge all you moms to focus on the little things today with your children. When they scream, whine or rub their applesauce in their hair, remember that this stage will be over just as fast as the other ones have. And with all the things that drive us crazy, go the precious little things they will never do again.

Here's mine...

2007-09-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the link Tara! Here's my signature, I am so proud, I am normally so computer stupid!

Random Question

2007-09-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, I don't have a random question, but there's a setting in my profile that gives me a random question I can answer, well I did it and then it said it has to be 400 characters or less, well way to squelch my dreams there blogger gods! So here is my answer to the question it asked which was" You've just broken up with your band in order to release a solo album, what would your album liner say?"

I like this random question thing! Here's my album liner...

First of all I would like to thank the Lord, our God, for giving me the talent, means and strength to get through the making of this album. Second, I would like to thank my husband Ben, who has supported me unwaveringly during this whole process and who never doubted I could do this for a minute. His words are still with me..."knock 'em dead!" Ben you are the encourager of my happiness and the love of my life. Thank you for everything. To my daughter Kaitlyn, your smile inspires me more than you will even know, Mommy loves you! I would like to thank my family and friends for being a part of my creative process and enduring blog after blog that became most of my album! (Ha ha!) To my former band members, what an amazing journey we had together, I will always treasure those memories and I will miss touring with you guys so much! Thank you to all of my fans, what an amazing gift it is to have people identify with my music and enjoy what I do, nothing could mean more and you are the reason I am able to do this. I guess I should thank my agent and my label. I would also like to thank the assistants, make up people (I know I would need those) and wardrobe people, I am a little challenged sometimes but we made it!

Who knew?

2007-09-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

Reading other peoples blogs has become a very time consuming hobby. Tara, I blame you! What an amazing way to spend a day with a friend who lives far away, or someone you've never met, but call a friend anyway. :) The nosy part of me loves the glimpse into a completely different life. This side of me triumphs in the fact that I am not the only mother losing her mind because her toddler will not stop spitting mouthfuls of milk out onto her shirt or wants to change her name to anything but "Mama" just for five minutes.

Switching topics...

Sometimes I feel guilty, wishing for silence, even for a fleeting moment, because I know some people have infinite silence and wish for squeals and laughter, not matter how loud. I know this is a phase and when she is older I will miss how attached and dependent she is on me, but some days just seem so long. If I leave the room, oh my, the world is ending. She is developing quite the attitude and instead of whining has now started screaming "NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Mostly when I pick her up and she doesn't want to be distracted from what she is doing.

But then there's times like the grocery store today. She must have said "Hi!" to every single person we passed in the store, some people got a greeting in every isle as we passed them on the same path. When I stopped in the ice cream section she spotted an ice cream with Dora on it, the new obsession, and said "Mama! It Dora!" (which she pronounces Dowa) And then here's the rest of the conversation in the ice cream isle...

A stranger walks by...
" Hi! It Dora! Bye bye!"
The crabby stranger does not even say hi back.
"Hi!"
"Mama, it it it it Dora!" (She gets stuck sometimes and when she gets excited she says "it" over and over again)
"Yes Kaitlyn, I see that it's Dora."
"It it it it it it Boots!"
"I see him baby, say bye bye to Dora and Boots"
"Bye bye Dora!"
We walk past the popsicles that also have a box with Dora.
"It it it it it it Dora!"
We turn the corner
"Water!"
And she continues to shout out every single item she recognizes in the store until we leave. It was too cute. It just cracks me up because she has to shout them with excitement, like she's never seen a bottle of water before, everything is fresh, new and exciting. What a wonderful, pure, innocent view she has of the world. I wish it were tangible so I could put it away and keep it safe forever. And how heart wrenching it is to know that no matter what I do, I can't protect her forever. She is going to be hurt, taken advantage of, lied to and yet don't we all? We survived it, our parents survived it, I know she will be fine no matter what comes, but I still ache thinking about it. Yet, there is so much joy knowing the foundation we're setting for her. One that shows no matter what comes, you are never alone and nothing is impossible. The Lord is amazing and wonderful and faithful and forgiving and no matter what we do, we have a safe place in him. That there is something beyond this life, so filled with meaningless possessions and hatred, that will be more wonderful than our imaginations could ever comprehend. I just pray, beyond all prayers, that she chooses to allow the Lord to guide her life and sets her eyes on eternity.

I am officially obsessed

2007-08-28T16:26:00.001-07:00

Oh the obsession of TTC. (Trying to conceive) I was trying to be cool about it, just hang around on the "Just Let it Happen" board and seriously just let it happen. Oh no, we're past that now. I was on the fence on this one but one of the girls on K's birth board just recently announced that she was pregnant and can you believe it, I was jealous. :)

I think Ben's obsessed too but in a different way. He is obsessed with having a boy. Now, I need to say that he would be thrilled to have another girl, but he really wants a boy eventually and he would like it to be the next one, probably because he'll be ready t be done after that. :) So we're doing what we can now to up our chances on having a boy, who knows if any of it really works, but it will make him feel better to try right?

So I am ready to start this amazing journey all over again, here we go! The only thing that makes me reluctant, besides remembering the recovery a few weeks after giving birth, is knowing this could be my last time doing all this. :( That just breaks my heart. I know I can't just keep having babies, I wouldn't want to, but I'm only on my first and somehow thinking about my last. How does it all happen so fast? Sometimes looking at her just hurts. Knowing I won't always be the center of her universe, and that in fact, one day she may not even like me. Today it was her hair, her hair that is just as unruly as she is and flies every which way, that made me realize how big she is getting. Something so simple, but proof that time is passing when I wish it wouldn't, or that I could at least slow it down a little. I so enjoy having a cute little girl that people ooh and ahh over everywhere we go. And whatever the next baby is, and whenever it arrives, I know we'll be ready for even the most painful moments, because it's those moments that remind us how truly blessed we are.

My first post is a vent, what does that tell you?

2007-08-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

I don't really want to get into it but I am irritated today. It's not a big deal, I know how blessed I am in my life, I am just having a moment. I need to go scream into my pillowcase. It's definitely Monday.

Oh well, how many people like what they do all day? How many people aren't overwhelmed when they think about doing housework and cooking and laundry and feeding the dog and bathing the baby and shopping...the list goes on. I know it's normal to be overwhelmed by everything, but I think most people power through and get those things done. Me, I just shut down and do nothing. And then the next day there is even more to deal with and again, I shut down and do nothing and everything piles up until I feel like I am going to scream. I feel like I get next to no help with all these things and yes I am home all day BUT I work from home. I work 11 hours a day, 5 days a week from home, so no, I don't just sit around.

I have also signed up for fall classes this semester. Eventually I want to have a career, something for me, after the kids start school and I need school to get there. What do I want to do you ask? I have NO idea, but I know the desire is there. The desire to interact with other human beings during the day that aren't under 2. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade being at home with K for anything, but I don't want to do this forever for other people's kids. This is a means to an end.

Which brings me to my next subject...money. Why does money have to complicate everything? Even when you have enough or more than enough? We're doing great right now, better than ever. I know we would be fine without my income, but something is holding me back. I know we won't fit in this house forever and we could wait forever to gain enough equity to move without having a down payment for the next house. Granted real estate in CA is crazy but I am a California girl born and raised, I am not leaving just because the housing market is a bit floopy, there's a reason for that folks! In my opinion, this is the best state to live in. I love it here, but more important, our families are here. I think grandparents are important and my parents would die if we ever moved away.

BUT, getting back to my money thing...I could quit now, be a SAHM and we'd be fine, we'd be tight, but we'd make it. But knowing that pretty much how much I make, or don't make, directly decides when we can move, ahhhh! It's all so stressful. I think Ben would rather me work, he has said if I hate it I can quit tomorrow, he doesn't care, but the fact that I don't make bad money never ceases to be mentioned either. And I know if I told him I am truly unhappy he wouldn't care if I quit, but what would I be giving up? And what if I do quit and in three years we are cramped and want to move but the market had taken a dive and there's no way to pay off the negative equity in our house and buy another one, will I kick myself forever? I feel like so much rides on this decision, especially my happiness and sanity. Is the money worth it?